I am in the bathroom after a whole day of marathon meetings.
What a day! Six back-to-back meetings without a single break. I
close my eyes and take deep breaths – this not an ideal place to
breathe deeply, but I know that once I go back outside, I’ll have to
face more questions and agendas and requests for discussions. All
I want is ten minutes to myself. My meditation teacher has told
me to close my eyes and imagine an open, sun-filled place if I get
too stressed at work. Here’s the moment to do that: I need that
picture in my head. Just as I begin to imagine endless pastures in
my favourite shades of green and yellow, I hear a woman in the
adjoining toilet cubicle sobbing and sniffling. My thoughts turn
to her and refuse to come back to the pastures in my head. Is she
okay? I hope nothing’s too wrong with her. I hear my teacher’s
voice in my head: ‘Radha, keep at it, don’t get distracted.’ But I
am not able to ignore the woman. The half-formed picture in my
head disappears.
I can sense that she wants to keep her turmoil to herself. I
sit holding my breath, as if partaking in her secrecy. If she were
crying less covertly, I would have intervened straight away.
Instead, I wait for things to be okay, as women from my part of
the world are usually trained to do.
But the sobs continue, and eventually I knock gently on the
wooden partition between us.
Hello, are you okay? Do you need any help?’
Her sobbing stops completely. There is some shuffling of feet
but no verbal response. My words drown in a long, awkward
silence. Is she even breathing now?
‘It’s going to be okay,’ I say. ‘I’m Radha. Find me later if you
feel like talking.’ Not knowing how else to help, I unbolt my
door and walk to the sink. As I wash my hands, I wait for some
sign that the woman is going to come out, that she is okay. After
a while I leave disappointed.
Back at my desk, my colleague Mike is waiting to discuss yet
another urgent issue with me.
‘What a long, torturous day,’ I say. We are buddies, Mike and I.
‘Well,’ whispers Mike, “Sam has some pressing concerns that
need your attention.’Sam is the Head of Systems Delivery. Mike
and I both report to him. ‘But that can wait for just a bit,’ Mike
continues. He launches into a rushed chatter about the ongoing
culture transformation.